Hey, I’m Hillary.
I don’t think I’d meet you and you’d peg me as a sad person, that’s not what depression is but it’s this veiled assumption we have. That’s what makes this disease so rare. Mental health is difficult to sum or kindly place in orderly words for the general public to receive widely + without dispute or conflict. I had a conversation with a girlfriend recently and so sweetly put the sewed the description of the chemicals in your body + required synapses as lacking in production and frequency like any other disease that lags hormonal production in the body.
It’s sometimes strange the stigmatism or apathy of our response towards mental health as it really is just science production given different veils to be misunderstood by. We’ve never been taught to quite understand what we can’t see, that’s why there’s dissection. We perform unraveling procedures to prove that which isn’t present to the human eye still does exist.
Some of those circumstantial triggers personally started with ladies in my scholastic setting eventually that domino tumble focused my minds lens on lack of confidence + lack of paternal support, family stress, depression and the worst I’d say was the loss of my first love in a fatal car accident. The mental cloud that proved a daily confine magnifying hurtful, overly focused or pragmatic thoughts with harsh events on repeat proved challenging
The emotional + physiological scars left on our tissues though reputation and imprinted thoughts are so vital the more I study biology, brain science in my line of work the connection of emotions to physical deficiencies… to pay tribute to, learn with, hurt in, and grow from. Finding movement, mindfulness + healthy emotional practices in an open and supportive community to be all that leads my head + heart space out of the trenches and fast rivers. Motion is that mobile meditation enhancing and amplifying colors + action that your thoughts have to step into physically vs. the regular and widely repetitive nature we have of head first and intermittent negativity ruling our thought and action process.
To say mental health is an avenue we render as conquered or done is to be ignorant to our minds potential to lead us astray. To honestly, kindly and truly lead vulnerable + raw conversations around what strips us of the stresses that don’t serve our purpose and understand their highlights or weakness’… however, remembering without a negative we have no positive. Rendering our pain or hurt into tools enabling focused empathy and love for those around us, and most importantly ourselves without traumatic events, but having this discussion on the table always.
Mental health is so close to my heart and is apart of mine + so many others every day. The reason my side project TECHNIMACRAME donates a portion of proceeds towards this amazing not for profit as led by example and establishing programs for the future minds to come, source comfort, coping mechanisms + communication. I hope we can begin to converse more about depression, anxiety and emotional causes that can sway our minds out of line with a more positive context and open head space. We all need support and no one is as alone as our minds would sometimes have us believe…
“HEAVY, WEIGHTED HURRIED + JUDGED.
LOOKING BACK THE DAY FEELS GREY + SMUDGED.
MINDS BODIES EMOTIONS AND RIVERS FLOW… FREEZE & SEASONALLY HOLD EMOTIONS BELOW.
LETTING THE HURT, THE EDGES THAW.
THE SEASONS BLOOM FAVOURING AN OFFERING.
YOU, YOURSELF, ANEW + IN THE RAW.”
